


The Thief

by DimensionSponge



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Gen, Kleptomania, Next up: Weyoun discovers Pokemon, Sisko’s baseball, Stealing, Weyoun is a thief, Why are you collecting glasses dude just play pokemon or something
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:01:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23326675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DimensionSponge/pseuds/DimensionSponge
Summary: Stuff is going missing all over the station and Dukat vows to find the thief.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	The Thief

The station currently had a stealing problem.

People were ‘misplacing’ their things left and right. Padds that had been submitted for report mysteriously disappeared a few days later. Bajorans were missing their earrings, which made them quite upset for some reason. Whenever someone put something down in Quark’s, half the time it vanished. 

Cardassians didn’t lose things. This was excessive.  
Dukat had had quite a few of his things stolen as well, some from right in his quarters.  
Some would say that narrowed it down to about half the station. To those people, Dukat would say ‘report to waste reclamation’.

The last straw was when Sisko’s baseball went missing. Now Dukat couldn’t gloat with it. He’d went to grab it to gesture for effect, and it wasn’t there. His speech had been ruined. Nobody ruined his speech and got away with it.  
Kira seemed even more annoyed now that it was gone, which confused him. Wouldn’t it be better to not have to see the reminder of the captain’s failure? Dukat resolved to locate the thief.

His search eventually took him to Weyoun. 

Dukat turned up at his quarters, and he appeared immediately after being called.  
He seemed almost nervous, unusual for him.  
“Hello.”

“Can I come in?”

“Apologies for the mess, I know you Cardassians like your cleanliness.”

Dukat noticed that Weyoun had an abundance of decorative glasses in his room. He appeared to have collected every type of glass from Quark’s. He did not drink as a habit, and could not get drunk, which led to an embarrassing disparity in control some nights. 

He approached the closet, and Weyoun started fidgeting.

“Oh? Am I getting warmer?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Dukat reached for the door.  
“Then I suppose you won’t mind if I...”

“No no no DON’T OPEN THAT-“

An avalanche of random crap surged from Weyoun’s closet. Dukat was buried in padds, gemstones, earrings, bolian singing spheres, and spare badges of pretty much everyone on the station.  
Atop the avalanche was Sisko’s baseball. 

Dukat snatched it angrily and stomped over to the Vorta.

“Care to explain this?” he growled.

Weyoun launched into a speech he’d obviously prepared ahead of time.  
“As you know, I dedicate my spare time to the study of other cultures. A common theme seems to be an obsession with the material. Other humanoids inundate themselves with ‘stuff’, if you will, most of which-“

“WE have an obsession with the material? Why did you take all these?”

“None of you were using them,” he replied simply.

“Just because someone puts something down for five seconds doesn’t mean it’s public property!” Dukat scoffed.

“They were left unattended in public areas.”

Dukat retrieved an abstract sculpture he’d had in his room.

“I had no idea my bedroom was a public area. I’ll be sure to nail everything down.”

He stormed out, stealing Weyoun’s lamp as he did so.

**Author's Note:**

> Well it basically is open to the public you THOT  
> And you can’t send me to clean the sewers because I don’t work here


End file.
